Sunday blues

Ever have one of those days where nothing feels quite right, where your practice is just missing that special something, where your computer crashes, and then even your error messages generate error messages?

I was on the fence about practicing today. I woke up every couple of hours last night, so it wasn't a great night's sleep. But I woke up with only a minorly sore throat, and I wasn't completely fatigued. So, at least there was something to debate internally. Practice or not practice? Practice won out, but not without quite a bit of passive aggressive procrastination on my part.

Eventually I made my way down to Shala X, having first dropped off the Husband and Kids at Sports Club/LA for some family sports fun - rock climbing, hoops, etc. Since Hebrew School was at 11 a.m., I had to be back for the Kids by 10:45. I arrived at the Shala at 9:30, and after searching out a spot amongst the maddening crowd, I got right to it. And nothing felt quite right. My hamstrings never quite surrendered. My feet didn't want to root in the Virabadhrasanas. My Ardha Baddhas never felt like they were massaging my internal organs - my foot lodged somewhere low on my groin instead. And where were my bandhas? I mean, seriously, WHERE WERE THEY? I had no lightness, no lift after the first or second Surya Namaskar A. My jumpbacks were really step-and-skip-backs. And then....the dreaded Marichis struck again. Everything was tight. Nothing wanted to give, even a little. I got through A, and half of B, and then on my second B-side, it simply wasn't happening. And where was Teacher? Why wasn't anyone helping me? Was I being shunned? Did I do something wrong? Does everyone hate me???? These are the vrittis that wove a tapestry of YUCK through my mind as my practice slid downhill and crashed on the rocks below.

Teacher finally made his way over to me after I got B on the second or third try. It was time for C. Yeah, we managed C, but it didn't feel good at all. It didn't feel like I had been making any progress at all... a week's worth of work was gone from history. I know that the asana journey is not linear, but still! This felt like a slap on the face...or rather, on the ASSana.

And then on the second C-side, it got worse: Teacher reprimanded me for not surrendering to the adjustment! "When you get an adjustment, you need to let me do all the work and just relax; otherwise, you undercut the work I am trying to do." WHA? I felt like a child getting her knuckles rapped by a Catholic School nun. Who even SAID I was supposed to let Teacher do all the work? Where was the memo about that? I felt ashamed and embarassed, and when I was done, I rushed through my backbends so that I could get the hell out of there because I felt like I was in the way of more worthy students.

I am just being honest here....this is what I was thinking....sucks, doesn't it?

My finishing series was so fast, I think my neigbors must have suffered whiplash. No stiff Savasana, three breaths in Sarvangasana, a breath in Halasana, another in each of Karna Pidasana, Urdhva Padmasana and Pindasana and I just completely skipped Matysasana altogether. Uttana Padasana was a mere approximation, and it lasted for less than a breath. I did sit in Badha Padmasana for quite a while, sort of watching my neighbor to the north effortlessly jump forward and backward and bind in all of the Marichis.

I felt sad.

Then I laid on my back for about thirty seconds (I won't even call it Savasana) and then fetal position and then sat up in padmasana (left leg first) to recite the closing mantra. I made it back to Sports Club/LA in record time - 9 minutes from Shala to Sports Club, dropped my kids at Hebrew School and then made my way to midtown to have a head shot taken at Yoga Sutra.

At least that came out well. Matan, the photographer, is mighty talented, I must say. Things started to look up at that point, I guess, because while I was getting ready to go back uptown my phone rang. It was The Husband, telling me that Adam had been "discovered" by the Synagogue cantor for his "shofar-blowing" skills. Adam has been practicing blowing the shofar for a couple of weeks, and today he brought our family shofar with him to Hebrew School so that he could show off a bit. Well, the powers that be took notice and asked The Husband if Adam could be on the "Shofar Team", which is the group of people chosen to blow the shofar in the Main Sanctuary on Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur. This is a major honor.

Remember: Adam is only SIX!

YC