Thursday, September 08, 2005

He's cute, alright...

But he's not your friend. He's not your shrink. And he's never going to take the place of a nice Zoloft with a Xanax chaser. He may have played a sensitive, grieving, self-aware, psychotropic-drug-numbed television star in Garden State, but in real life, he is more than likely JUST a television star, minus all the adorable (?) adjectives.

He's not going to like you just because your comment on his blog was clever and insightful and proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you two have the exact same taste in music. Nor will he be swayed by the fact that your comment formed a perfect Haiku. It is highly unlikely that he will ever even READ your comment, given that there are now more than THREE THOUSAND comments on his last blog entry alone, which dates all the way back to July 11. Of the year 2005, okay, fine. But still....

Yes, I am talking about Zach Braff, fellow native New Jersey-ite...former not-so-secret celebrity crush of Yoga Chickie (he's CUTE, Goddamnit, and Jewish, so can you really blame me?)...you know, the one who plays a hapless, puppy-like doctor on TV and who wrote, directed and starred in a mind-numbingly boring indie flick that got by pretty much exclusively on the merits of its techno-chill-world-beat soundtrack and the fact that it became the marching theme for a nation of seratonin-reuptake-challenged twentysomethings?

Let it hereby be known that I am pissed off at Mr. Zach Braff because he created a monster and subsequently abandoned it. (And anyone who ever read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein will know that is NEVER a good idea.) I am referring to Zach's blog (which I WILL NOT link to, because trust me, if you were to try to retrieve it, your computer would crash just like mine did. That's what happens when you try to load a blog that has several thousand comments on the most recent post), the blog which his fans believed was a place where Zach could "be real", a notion that Zach nurtured...that is, if it even was Zach posting on it at all (as opposed to some publicity flack being paid by the word).

For some reason, the many thousands of fans out there who anxiously awaited each post from Mr. Braff were under the impression that the blog was something other than a publicity machine for Garden State. It's hard for me to understand how such a misunderstanding might have arisen, given that Braff mentioned early on that his producers set up the blog in the first place so that he could hype the movie. Also, the blog happens to be called "Zach Braff's Garden State Blog". Perhaps that might have provided a clue.

But apparently not. But shouldn't something be done for the thousands of fans who have now resorted to fighting amongst themselves in the hopes of getting Zach's attention? Shouldn't someone tell them that Zach has moved onto other projects and isn't coming back? Seriously, I think it is quite irresponsible of Zach and his handlers to sit back and ignore several THOUSAND comments, many of which are frightening confessions of mood disorders and other high-decibal cries for help.

Here's how I see it: you make a movie that validates and even glorifies mental illness (see, e.g., Natalie Portman's manic character), you seek out the attention of fans who identify with mentally ill movie characters, and you lead those fans to believe that you "get" them. Don't you think that you have some sort of responsibility to let them down easy when it's time to let them down?

YC

2 comments:

Susan said...

Mmm, well. I saw that movie and I have also seen that blog site. I have not read any of the comments, though.
I actually really liked the movie and of course the soundtrack. I can see why some kids might take this whole gimmick and feel like Zack gets them.
But what does he really owe all these Prozac Paxil popping kids? I don't know....
I am sorry he didn't like your haiku.

yoga chickie said...

Oh my!!! I hope it didn't sound like I wrote the haiku(s) or any of the other "Zach, your blog postings help me keep my depression under control" posts, for that matter!!

I don't know why it bothers me so much that these kids are hanging on, waiting and waiting for Zach to post. I just find it painful to watch, and yet I keep going back there to see if he has posted and if not, to see how many comments the latest post has (latest count 3,153).

You know, I really wanted to like Garden State. I tried really hard to stay awake each time I watched it. But I just couldn't follow through. Some of it was beautiful, I will certainly admit - like the pool scene. But a lot of it was really inaccessible to me - like the scene where Thievery is playing in the background and people are watching people having sex through peepholes. Where WAS that supposed to be, anyway? And the whole thing with robbing Large's mom's grave and ending up in a quarry. I just couldn't understand it. Finally, I felt like the ending was totally Hollywood and unrealistic.

I do LOVE the soundtrack though. It is simply amazing and in my opinion, in a galaxy far far away from the movie, itself.

Lauren

Copyright 2005-2007 Lauren Cahn, all rights reserved. Photos appearing on this blog may be subject to third party copyright ownership. You are free to link to this blog and portions hereof, but the use of any direct content requires the prior written consent of the author.

About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.

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