Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Was it a full moon this week or something?

I stumbled across a random yoga teacher's blog...fairly humdrum stuff...all theoretical, completely non-experiential and all in all, quite impenetrable due to its being very, very verbose (no, I mean VERY VERY VERY verbose) and full of fifty-cent words and pretentious quotations (and no, sorry, I am not going to provide a link....so don't even ask...;))

And then......................

I was just about to click off and move onto more interesting venues in the blogosphere, like some of the excellent Ashtanga blogs I regularly peruse, when I noticed that embedded deep in all the verbal diarrhea was a scathingly nasty blogwar. And I say "embedded deep" because there are almost NO comments on this particular blog.

The blogwar was between the blogger and someone who had apparently taken the blogger's yoga class. Apparently, the commentator ignored the (rather impenatrable) text of the blog and instead commented on the blogger's tendency to pay exessive (and possibly salacious) attention to the "hot girls" in class, to the exclusion of the other students. Apparently, in one specific class the blogger/teacher had been paying quite a bit of attention to a "hot girl" who may or may not have been sporting silicone breasts and who may or may not have been wearing really really short shorts and whose (possibly silicone) breasts may or may not have been heaving as she received adjustments from the blogger/teacher. And apparently, the commentator was not happy about the display, the vibe or the fact that no one else in the class got nearly as much attention.

If you think I am "apparently"-ing too much, please excuse me as it is only because I really can't say for sure what the commentator actually said. You see, the blogger responded (and responded and responded, as we will get to later), but then removed the original comment, leaving us only to guess at what the commentator might have said, based only on the blogger's response. And what a response: the blogger defended himself by saying, among other things that (1) he isn't attracted to silicone breasts (!!!!!!!!!!!) and (2) the "hot girl" in question was not nearly as hot as another girl in the very same class!!!!!!!!!!

Madness, I tell you!!!

And just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier, I scrolled down and saw three more comments. All from the blogger. Clarifying, validating, explaining, justifying, explaining some more. Blah blah blah. Blah. And blah.

I was tempted to comment, to say, please, you have nothing to prove to anyone, and the more you keep trying to defend yourself, the more you are going to invite criticism (I know - I've been there, right here...).

But I couldn't. Because the blog is now closed to commentators other than the blogger himself!!!

I can't help but be reminded of that old Woody Allen movie, Bananas, where the Woody character (Fielding Mellish) defends himself in court, acting as both lawyer AND witness, cross examining himself, running back and forth, asking himself questions from the floor and then running back to the witness stand to answer them...."You sir," he asks himself at one point, "Are you being coy with the court?"

Could it be the moon? Or is this blogger simply bananas?

YC

7 comments:

Susan said...

Nice post. Maybe this guy will start leaving himself posts. He could really have an outlet for all his self satisfying rhetoric.
People are weird.

Anonymous said...

1st COMMENT
I have recently attended 2 of your hot sequence classes and I think you need to refrain from singling out your favorite pet girls who pant and heave when you touch them. I have never seen this in any other yoga studio and it seemed as if you could really be setting a bad example for new students and what to expect from a yoga class at New York Yoga. One of the two classes I attended had over 12 people in the class, many of whom were first or second time students and surely could have used some focus and adjustments. Instead you chose to give all of your attention to two women; one who wore shorts so short I had the displeasure of seeing her privates shoved in my face and another enormous breasted woman who panted and breathed as if she was running a marathon every time you touched her. Interstingly during all of your adjustments for this woman panting out of her mouth is she could use a lesson in how to breath during yoga exercises. I heard one woman utter 'get a room' and I couldnt help but laugh because I also shared her same feelings. You seemed to teach a great class and have great knowledge of the body and yoga but it would be much more enjoyable if you shared that energy and enthusiasm with everyone in your class and not just your favorite pet females.

9:39 AM

2nd COMMENT

While your disertation may be slightly convincing, I disagree ENORMOUSLY in your approach and familiarity with these women in a public forum. I appreciate your defense of the situation however it was very disturbing to see these women consistently singled out during a class full of students from all levels. Per your reply 'if I noticed such and such was injured,'...to answer, no I had not noticed that the person was injured, because I was too consumed with trying to understand the poses as they were new to me. I did notice that you cared very little about anyone else in the
class, except "your good friend and the other injured woman who didn't realize how far she was pushing herself." If your students are requiring this constant attention, they should arrange for private classes.

8:16 PM

yoga chickie said...

Anonymous...were you the one who posted those comments?

Susan said...

THIS IS GETTING WEIRD!

Anonymous said...

Link to the blog please. C'mon, its only fair! Tease!!!

yoga chickie said...

nonononononononononononono (fingers in ears, eyes closed, mouth shut tight).

yoga chickie said...

Someone just asked me to clarify what the long comment above is (the one which begins: "1st COMMENT"). It is not a comment directed at ME. It is the actual comment(s) made on the blog (and then deleted from the blog) that I was referring to in "Was it a full moon or something this week?"

I don't teach Hot Sequence at New York Yoga, I am not a man, and I don't ogle large-breasted women who heave and pant at my touch.

Just clarifying.

Lauren

Copyright 2005-2007 Lauren Cahn, all rights reserved. Photos appearing on this blog may be subject to third party copyright ownership. You are free to link to this blog and portions hereof, but the use of any direct content requires the prior written consent of the author.

About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.

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