Yoga Road Kill
Woke up this morning feeling like I had been run over by a truck. Teaching three classes in one day plus spending two hours walking Lewis all over Central Park is simply too much for me. I am glad I don't "have" to teach yoga for a living. I would spend half my life teaching and the other half sleeping or just laying on the sofa like a vegetable watching Animal Planet (perhaps watching all those animals has a narcotic effect?)
I have a renewed respect for everyone out there who practices ashtanga AND has a real job. Not to mention anyone who ALSO has kids, a spouse, or is trying to have kids or find a spouse, awho has a pet....it is HARD to do it all.
I could not face the trek downtown today - to Shala X or anywhere else. I simply practiced at home. It started out very sticky and stiff. I felt as if someone had poured cement into my pores overnight, and it had seeped into all my connective tissue and joints and solidified my muscles. Everything kind of hurt. And moving didn't feel good.
I took a bath and then passed out on the sofa. Then I gave Lewis a bath. Then I looked at my watch. Time was running short...I finally swept away the resistance and just did my practice. To Mari C, which I bound easily, and which felt particularly good, even after all my whining. And that was that, other than closing sequence.
So, what IS the rule about practicing Mysore style and incorporating some led classes? If you haven't completed primary, are you supposed to stop in led class where you stop in Mysore style sessions? I believe that the Soho Shala includes at least one led class on its regular schedule, in lieu of a Mysore session. Shala X provides a led class three times a week, and only at night or on Saturday, as an outside option - I think you pay separately for led classes. Yoga Sutra has led classes on the schedule every day, some of which overlap with regularly scheduled Mysore sessions.
I know that there are plenty of ashtangis out there who just do as their teachers say, and never question it. That's great for those for whom that works. It just isn't my style - I need to question and understand why I am doing what I am doing. At the moment, that is what is missing from the equation for me.
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy that tomorrow is Saturday. I need a day off!!!
YC
6 comments:
"It just isn't my style - I need to question and understand why I am doing what I am doing."
And there's the rub...
When you can let go and give in to the student-teacher relationship, you'll do better. Its a PROCESS. Do you understand life and all of its complexities? My god - especially you - after all you've been through - would seem to me the ideal person to just "give in" and "go with it." Or maybe because of all the crap thrown your way, you're looking to control whatever you can? Maybe, but it can't be done. Certainly not with the practice. Yes, study and learn and ask questions and read books. But in the end, just practice. And, um, all is coming...
Is it really? Sometimes I just need someone to tell me that. I tell my students that all the time, hoping to convince them, and, er, hoping to convince myself. But I wish someone, you, whoever you are, my teacher, someone else's teacher, ANYONE, would tell me that if I would simply practice and take my teacher's lead, then all is coming....
I have come a loooooong way in terms of giving in and going with it. But it's a process, a practice. I am still working on it. I probably always will be working on it.
Maybe break your "going with it" into more manageable chunks. Give yourself over to your teacher and your practice for a year. Or even just six months. During that time, being disciplined. Don't make lots of questions/ideas about it during that time--just practice. Then, after a year, see if you are pleased. If you are, sign up in your heart for another year.
I do stuff like that for all life practices--I put a 40 year plan in place for writing when I was 20 years old--decided just to write and not question it until I was 60. For zen, I'm in for 10 years of practice before I think too much about it.
You're smart, Lauren. And you can trust yourself enough to go with the flow. Try it! It's way more fun than debating and questioning yourself all the time. That's too tiresome and unproductive and energy-sapping.
I think the trick is "NEED to question". Many of us like to question things, it's not like we are mindless zombies that don't have the capacity or the inclination to question things. We (or some of us, at least) have made the conscious choice to surrender to the teachings of our gurus. Just like that. And yes, it does work. You practice and it all comes.
V you are so right on.. look how much I question everything but am surrendered.. it's the practice.
Oops I got cut off... didn't get to finish my thought sorry.
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