I'll have what she's having

I have a friend who lost a lot of weight practicing Bikram. She had quite a bit of weight to lose, and who knows whether it was the Bikram that helped or if it was simply a matter of getting her body moving again and facing herself daily in a body-conscious practice? Ultimately, as time passed, some of the weight crept back on. She continued her Bikram practice and continued with her usual routine. The weight gain snowballed.

She knew something was wrong with the picture. But she felt helpless and lost as to what there was to do about it. At first she gathered anecdotes from others who had gained weight while practicing Bikram yoga. Perhaps it was a side effect of being in the heat for so many hours on a weekly basis? Perhaps it was a temporary water weight gain? Lots of her friends had theories, as did she. Yet the weight was sticking, and she continued with the Bikram. She continued with her dead-end job as a personal assistant to a Park Avenue socialite, and she continued the eating habits that she had picked up in recent months that may have contributed to the weight gain.

One day my friend and I had lunch, and I suggested to her that perhaps whatever it was that she was "doing" was simply not working and that perhaps it was time to make some changes. "You don't understand," she said exasperatedly, "this has always worked for me in the past."

"But you're seeing for yourself that it's not working now," I reminded her.

"But it used to work. It USED to."

Not long after that, my friend siezed a wonderful opportunity for a job in a new city. Leaving New York City, she moved to South Beach, Florida. She still practices Bikram to some extent, but she has opened up to other practices as well. She has a new job and new friends and an entirely new lifestyle. She looks great, and she feels happy.

It's easy to look back and see the point in time at which whatever we've been doing has stopped working for us. But it's hard to see it when we are caught up in it, unless you're mindful of the signposts. The biggest, brightest, most neon signpost of the need for imminent change is the old refrain, "But it used to work". If you hear yourself saying, "but it USED to work," I would say that is a pretty powerful indication that it is no LONGER working. Right?

As for me, I have finally stopped showering in the morning before going to Shala X. It USED to work to wake me up and get me heated up. But as the weather has grown colder, it has gotten harder and harder to get out of the house after showering, what with my thick, long hair that never seems to fully dry, and all of the dressing and undressing and other transitions that showering involved. "But it USED to work," I heard myself saying as I would arrive at the shala later and later and more and more stressed and frustrated and alienated. Well, if it USED to work, then it's no longer working, I realized, and I decided to just STOP.

Now, I hold out my shower as the carrot at the end of my stick...as soon as I get to the shala, I can take a nice hot shower, I tell myself, and it motivates me to move my butt and just GET there. Plus, the heat of the shower doesn't have a chance to dissipate in the frigid New York winter air before I practice.

As a result, I am on time, less stressed and not battling an internal debate about showing up at all.

Change. It's what's for practice.

YC