Monday, January 09, 2006

Da Allie G Show

You're lounging in a room in a 250 year old Paris chateau, with 24 other gorgeous women in evening gowns, cut down to here, slit up to there. You've just met "The Bachelor", who to your delighted surprise, is not only gorgeous and seemingly very "genuine" but also a gorgeous and seemingly very genuine Southern ER doctor. The night sails along on champagne bubbles and giddiness. Pleasantries are exchanged. There is some awkward flirting, some conversation that appears devoid of chemistry. One girl babbles nervously until she finds herself telling The Bachelor that she wasn't nervous to meet him so much as she was to meet the other girls. Got some girl/girl competition issues, have we? She doesn't get a rose. Some girls appear to be slightly lobotomized. One can't offer much to say beyond, "Would you look at this place, it's huge, HUGE, I mean really HUUUGE". She ends up getting a rose.

And then there's you, our apparent front-runner, Allie G from Delray Beach, Florida, bright, bubbly, gorgeous like all the others, and a doctor, yourself. An oncologist even.

So what do you do, Allie G? You take The Bachelor aside, away from all of the giddy libations, away from all of the other gorgeous girls, and you sit him down for a serious talk. "I've done the dating thing, I've done the academic thing, I've become a doctor," you begin. At that moment, you are interrupted by one of the other girls, reminding you with her impatient, borderline catty eavesdropping that your time is limited and you had better wrap it up.

"So where was I?" you gather your thoughts once again, one final chance to change your tack...."Ah yes," you pull it together, "I am ready for the reproduction thing. So if that's where your head is at, I'd like to get to know you better."

At that moment, for the first time in television history, The Bachelor turns into a pillar of salt.

Needless to say, Allie G goes home that night. No rose. But not before confronting The Bachelor, demanding to know, "Am I too short? Are my breasts too small? Why didn't you choose me?!" He tells her what all of the millions of people who are watching already know: because in one sentence, you sucked all of the fun out of the room.

Allie G then proceeds to bash The Bachelor for being a player, for not being looking for the "real thing", because the only reason to get married is to reproduce. She bashes him to his face, and then she bashes him to the other 13 girls who were also sent home (only 12 were given roses and asked to stay), all of whom look at her like she just inhaled a big ole tank full of crazy.

The thing is, it's FINE to look for lasting love, one that will blossom into lifelong companionship and fruitful multiplication. But how many people, guys OR girls, are going to be turned on by an invitation to "get to know me if you're ready to reproduce"? And in THAT environment, even less. I mean, here may be a man who is honestly and genuinely interested in meeting a woman with whom he can spend the rest of his life, but upon meeting 25 beautiful, sexy, women, all of whom are there for the sole purpose of pleasing him, there has to be some period of time when all of that "honest and genuine interest" goes out the window. The whole concept of The Bachelor is disturbing to me because it glorifies, encourages and validates girl/girl competition, cattiness, cat-fighting, multiple sex partners and calculated dishonesty in relationships. But it is what it is. And in that context, does it really make sense to say, "Hey, listen, I can take you away from all of this wine and romance and excitement and sex in the interest of procreating"?

I honestly felt horrible for Allie G, and I wished that I could reach into the television, give her a huge hug and then shake her shoulders hard enough so that perhaps some sense might return to her highly educated brain. She seemed not to understand at all that the rules are different in world of The Bachelor. It was hard to watch. I don't even know why I watched it. I doubt I will watch it again. Much too depressing, even with Allie G back in Florida, curing cancer.



Anonymous said...

How do watch this nonsense? There's so much better nonsense on tv...

Chick Pea said...

she is crazy.. embarassment to female doctors..

samasthiti said...

That show is gross. He's mackin with like all these girls back to back. Disgusting.
Don't look!

Oh, and btw there is one of those on every show darling. Allie was a ringer.
It's so that you intelligent ladies out there learn your lesson and shut up and play stupid if you ever want to get married. That's what men like.

yoga chickie said...

Yeah, it's a formula, and a pretty hee-man-woman-haters-club formula at that. Boy meets 25 girls, hand-picks harem of 12, dates, kisses, f-cks many, ABC censors out the f-cking and references thereto, keeps them all guessing until each rose ceremony, makes much noise about, "Oh, this is so difficult, my future wife could be in this room, oh how will I choose..." when in real life it NEVER works that way, boy knows exactly who he wants, and in a precious few weeks getting to know all of these women, in a barely one-on-one scenario, there is no way that he knows enough to make that decision based on anything other than a hunch. Blech.

samasthiti said...

Blech and double blech.

Now Wife Swap, there's real quality reality TV!

Lets face it there is so very little intelligent TV on....

yoga chickie said...

Ah, wife of the swappers is a local family around here...their kids do little league and camp with mine. Oh, the stories...

Grey's Anatomy, ER, a few things on HBO, Animal Planet, and well, that's about it....500 channels and nothing to watch.

Curtis said...

If you recall while Ms. Allie spiraled into a psychotic meltdown on network television....after her rejection by the Bachelor....she stomped up to him demanding to know why she wasn't given a one point she asked if she was being sent home because her "boobs" were too small (her words...but perhaps she said breasts). Like a gentleman the Bachelor kept silent and let her continue to make a fool of herself, eventually motioning toward the exit as if to say " its time for you to leave." If the Bachelor had been honest....he would have indeed confirmed what every male watching was thinking....she was indeed properly being rejected because her "boobs" were too small.

yoga chickie said...

Nice. Tasteless. But A for effort.

Curtis said...

"Nice. Tasteless. But A for effort"............................
....yes, well, we all feel the need to grade and keep score....that was my point !

yoga chickie said...

Curtis, have you actually READ this blog?

Curtis said...

yes, most ceratinly. I think we are talking about honesty.

yoga chickie said...

You "honestly" think he rejected her because of her breast size?! OK, whatever. If nice "boobs" are the basis on which you judge your women, then you must not be very picky! And you must be getting laid a LOT.


Curtis said...

I'm just beng hosnest ....that men look at for me being picky and getting laid a lot....I am picky who I lay a to speak.

yoga chickie said...

Yes, Curtis, men look at boobs. Nonetheless, what happened between the Stork and Dr. Allie G had nothing whatsoever to do with her boobs.


P.S. your profile has no blog attached as yet...better get crackin'!

Curtis said...

"Yes, Curtis, men look at boobs. Nonetheless, what happened between the Stork and Dr. Allie G had nothing whatsoever to do with her boobs." ......its shaping up to be a Mars and Venus thing. You can be right. What I need to "get crackin' on" now, however is some "sword" work. I must away to put a hour into my sword practice. Class is tomorrow evening, and I need to PRACTICE if I am to keep up. Perhaps we can "pass in the night" again.
-My best regards,

yoga chickie said...


And, well, Curtis, good luck with the sword practice...keep it up!

Cheers and all that,


Anonymous said...

Interesting perspective on the subject. I actually know allie g personally and I am very saddened at the way she was portrayed in the show. She is not a psycho interested solely in procrating. She is very sweet and tons of fun. She is ready to move on to another point in her lufe as she did dedicated 10 years of her life solely to medicine. She was not fit to be on a show surronded by all these catty women. She is much too sincere and genuine for that and I guess that is what hurt her in the end.

Curiepoint said...

One may reduce a man's desires for a wife down to adequate cleavage if one desires, but I find it a one-dimensional arguement. Physical attractiveness is important between the sexes, but that is a highly relative measure.

I can say that a man looks for a wife who will be a part of a shared life. This goes beyond shared duties and responsibilities. It has to do with love and compatibility as well.

Dr. Allie may well indeed be a good, fun, decent woman in real life. But to say that the only reason she wants to get married is to make babies, well that's as one-dimensional a reason as if he did choose her because her breasts were fulsome enough. I can only imagine what her wedding vows would sound like:

"I promise to fulfill my instinctual biological imperative. The rest of that stuff, like love and commitment we can work on."

Again, perhaps she is not like this in reality, but she sure came across that way to The Bachelor and to just about everyone else watching.

Plus, I think letting network sponsors front-load the competition with what they want to see is demeaning. Then again, the the entire premise of the show is demeaning.

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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