Monday, May 21, 2007

whine, whine, whine

Did the finger bind with ankles crossed today in Supta K. I'm guessing that I am at a point in my practice where this is going to happen once or twice a week and then after awhile, more often until, hopefully, I'll be binding regardless of whether I am tight or stiff or sweaty or not sweaty or whatever. That's how it finally is with Mari C and Mari D. I can always do them - no matter how crappy I feel. It's just part of my practice now, like Ardha Baddha and Janu Sirsa and Tirianga.

Sometimes I think about what I am doing in practice versus what other people are doing, and I feel so lame. Like, how can I even be tired after practicing 2/3 of Primary? How can I not be ready to go run five miles? I guess I am getting a bit antsy about getting through the rest of Primary. I just want to do it already. I want the whole Chikitsa. Not just 2/3 of the Chikitsa. Therapy you know? Would I leave 2/3 of the way into my 45 minute hour with my shrink? No. I would not. So, why do I have to leave 2/3 of the way into my 50 minute hour of Primary?

I am getting very impatient. VERY. I feel annoyed when I see new students come into the Shala, unable to bind in Mari D, unable to cross ankles in Supta K and unable to get arms through in Garba Pindasana and then, nevertheless, practice all the way up to Setu Bandasana.

Why not me? WHY WHY WHY?

Obviously, I just feel like whining like a two year old today.



Anonymous said...

The whining is all part of it. It's all part of the therapy. :) You're cleansing yourself of whining. As they say, be careful what you pray for, it just might happen. Someday you will be told 'take pasasana', and then you will be on the hook for an ever increasing practice which makes a day where you 'just' do primary a glorious walk in the park. Sorry. It's true. practice and all is coming. Hey, those poses after garba are all really stupid anyway--who needs em?

"YC" said...

Your lips, God's ears.

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I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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