Thank you, moon....

I needed a break, BADLY, what with the Advil-embargo and all. If I could take some Advil, then perhaps my obliques wouldn't feel like they had been smashed under the tires of an SUV (who knew my binding arm could exert such force). Or is it my floating ribs? Those little buggers kind of creep me out - ribs that aren't attached to the front of the ribcage?...They just seem like they are waiting to stab me from the inside out in the midst of a really strong Mari C or D adjustment. Could that really happen??? I really don't know, but from my quickie research on the web, it seems that there is quite a lot of movement in the area of the floating ribs in general, to the point where one can "train" them to face INWARD, facilitating the "molding" of a 15 inch waist!

Thinking about my soreness in my obliques, it occurs to me that in the beginning of my yoga practicing days, I found that most often, I was sore in my lower back, from backbending through my lumbar spine. Then, when I discovered Jivamukti, I became sore in my triceps from doing chatturangas. I remember not being able to go to Jivamukti except every-other-day, because of this soreness: it would take me a day to recover in between. Now that seems kind of funny, considering that the Ashtanga practice has upwards of 60 chatturangas, considerably more than any Jivamukti practice, and my triceps feel perfectly fine. I guess things do change over time.

Since I am not practicing today, I also have had some time to reflect on the whole shala-hopping, one-teacher vs. many teachers quandry. I have thought about where I am spending my time practicing versus who I consider "my teacher" to be. And I came up with the most unexpected thought, which I hope does not create a spate of angry comments, but well, I take my chances:

My very first teacher was Govinda Kai, or Russell Kai Yamaguchi, as he was then called. The class was led half primary at New York Yoga, and I had never sweat so much in my life or felt quite so incompetent, and I think he SKIPPED Mari D! So, you can imagine where I was at at that time with my practice. I could tell instantly that Russell (as I still kind of think of him) was the "real deal", but I swore to never go back to him until I had a bit more competence. That is how I turned to Bikram and Jivamukti. I occasionally returned to Russell/Govinda's class until he stopped teaching the class, and in the meantime spent time reading Beryl Bender Birch's Power Yoga. And I spent my time practicing vinyasa, which felt to me like a beautiful dance.

I preferred the "Ashtanga-based" vinyasa of Jivamukti, and I enjoyed learning about Hindu gods and practicing their form of meditation ("Inhale LET, Exhale GO"). I didn't love the Iyengar-based vinyasa at Om, nor did I embrace Buddhism or Cyndi Lee's "Cuteism". But when I decided that I wanted to teach yoga to breast cancer survivors, I decided to get my training at Om because....it was a one-month intensive and it was in NYC. OK? So, now the truth is known. It was not a love of the Om method, which in truth, got me way off-track for a while, at least as regards my current journey.

At Om, there were 14 Required Elements of an Advanced Practice, and one of those elements was Surya Namaskar B, which really was not Surya Namaskar B at all because it included Warrior II and stopped at plank before Chatturanga in the transitions from Warrior II. But nowhere in the Required Elements was there a mention of how MANY Surya B's a class should have. And so, many Advanced classes at Om contained at MOST, one Surya Namaskar B. And I couldn't much break a sweat, and I couldn't warm my muscles and joints. And by the end of an intensive month there, I felt like my body was broken. I began teaching almost immediately, and I found that outside of Om, my students did not want to practice in the Om style. So, I found myself incorporating more of what I used to do at Jivamukti and just going with what my gut told me would reach my students. The further away from the Om style I got, the better my teaching got, and the more students would flock to my class.

The progression toward Ashtanga was a natural one then, from my interest in an Ashtanga-based vinyasa style. I guess after awhile, I was craving something that was less of a "dance", something that had more structure. And luckily, New York Yoga hired MaryBeth Garutti to teach a led primary class. Through MB, I discovered wonderful things about Ashtanga. When I didn't understand WHY the system was structured as it was, she helped me to understand and to work through it more effectively. For example, I couldn't understand why Ardha Baddha Padmotannasana came AFTER Uttita Hasta Padangusthasana, since the latter made my hips feel tight, and yet the former required very soft, flexible hips...and she helped me to understand why and helped me to focus on softening in Uttita Hasta Padangusthasana, instead of hardening. When I was attached to the heat of the room, she was patient and non-judgemental, which helped me more than ANYTHING to disengage from the attachment.

MB encouraged me to seek out a Mysore practice, and I did, first meeting Eddie Stern at SKPJ's Puck Building extravaganza and getting his OK to practice at his shala (it really didn't take much to get his ok - all I had to do was meet him and tell him I wanted to practice Ashtanga in a Mysore room, truth be told). I then went to the shala a couple of days later and met Barry Silver, one of the teachers there, who was subbing for Sarah Plumer's 11 a.m. session. I observed that first day, and then I came back the next day to practice with Sarah. I LOVED that shala, its warmth, its golden walls, its feel, its smell, its inexplicable energy, and I quite liked Sarah too, who had a soft and gentle manner but a firm authority, which I needed.

The next day was Saturday, and all day, I couldn't wait for Sunday at 7:30 a.m., when I could go back. Well, guess what? I made my way down there, and the place was closed for a workshop with the Ayurvedic Physicican, Robert Svaboda. As I sat there on the steps with two others who came by mistake, I decided to go to Guy's shala, where there was a Mysore practice starting at 8:30 (doors open at 8:15).

Guy was there, and I met him and Lori, but Mark Robberds, from Australia, was teaching and was going to be teaching for the next six weeks. I really liked Mark right away, and Guy convinced me that I ought to commit to a three-day-a-week package. Six days a week was not possible because of my teaching commitments at the time. But I knew I wanted to practice six days a week, so I knew that the other days, I would go to Sarah. In all honesty, I preferred the space at Eddie's, and if you have read my blog up until now, you will already know that I prefer the WAY I practice at Eddie's - something about Sarah or the room or, I don't know. All I know is that I have always felt more calm and focused practicing in that golden space. But I continued to practice primarily at Guy's.

At times I have wondered if what makes me like Sarah so much is that I don't see her that often. I am being REALLY honest here.

Anyway, getting to the end of this way-too-long story, is that in the nearly six months in which I have been practicing Ashtanga nearly exclusively and nearly six-days a week if not six-days-a-week, I have had one consistent led teacher, who I admire and can thank for getting me on the right track, three different teachers at AYS and one teacher at Eddie's. But even though I see Sarah at best, twice a week, she is the one who I see as the over-arching factor. When I practice to Supta Kurmasana at AYS, I feel a bit like a fraud, because I know that Sarah wouldn't have me doing it (which is why I offerred to Guy the option of cutting me back to Navasana or even Mari D). I do not in any way resent that I get the delicious experience of practicing Supta K at Guy's shala. I am THRILLED. But at the same time, in my heart of hearts, I guess I believe that I should be going as slow as Sarah says.

So, perhaps in all of this, I have actually found a teacher? Even if I don't see her as often as I see my other teachers? I have heard others on the EZBoard say something to this effect - that their "teacher" is not necessarily the one who they see every day, but someone who they see when they can, who has that certain something that makes them feel inspiration, and unquestioning trust?

YC