Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Surgery today!!!!

I am scared and excited and scared and excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I keep forgetting that I am having my reconstruction finished today. All I keep thinking about is the abdominoplasty (tummy tuck and muscle repair of the rectus abdominii). Then I remember - when I am done today, my breasts will be pretty much in their finished form, finally, after three years! I remember thinking when I was first diagnosed, "I have to get this done, and FAST." I remember asking my plastic surgeon how long the whole thing would take - the mastectomies, the skin expansion, the port removal, the scar revision. The original plan was less than a year. HA! I totally lost focus and interest, and here I am three years later finally getting around to it.

I was actually going to do it six months ago, but my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and I was freaked out and felt paralyzed and didn't want to deal with doctors at all. So, I postponed. Now, my dad is doing quite nicely, knock wood, kinah-hura (Jewish version of knock wood), and, well...here I am am....

Of course, now that today has arrived, I am worried - what if I don't ever wake up from anesthesia? What if I code while being operated on? OK, there, I said it.

Now I have to just let it go.

YC

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Copyright 2005-2007 Lauren Cahn, all rights reserved. Photos appearing on this blog may be subject to third party copyright ownership. You are free to link to this blog and portions hereof, but the use of any direct content requires the prior written consent of the author.

About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.

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