Cleanse Day 1 (of 1?)

Practice was slightly better today, although something is seriously amiss in my twisting. I can't blame it all on my shoulders. My spine just is not making that extra little movement that I need it to make. And my backbends are also pretty sad. I think I squeezed out seven or so today anyway, hoping that ONE just ONE would feel okay. It was not to be.

Nevertheless, I will say that it was an improvement over yesterday. Supta K number...? I forget...8? 9? No progress. Jose tells me the progress is too gradual to note. And he assures me that Petri is pressing my chest down even though I don't feel it. I feel as if all I need is someone to take my ankles and crank them up behind my neck. THEN I could bind. Until my ankles are back there, there is just no way that there is going to be room for me to bind my arms around my (sudden realization:) ginormous thighs. Or so it seems.

Xtina is so so so so so awesome. She knows exactly what I need - partly because I told her, but she listened, and she remembered. I told her that I really want my knee behind my armpit in Mari A and B because that feels like it mimics the energy in Supta K. She has been helping me with that, and today she helped me to get that going in Mari C as well. Still, the twist is not quite deep enough for some reason this week, so it is really hard to really close the gap between armpit and knee in Mari C and Mari D.

Shouldn't I find the positive in my practice, amid the whining? Shouldn't I recognize that my Uttitha Hasta Padangusthasana is really quite smooth and light and lovely? No dancing at all. Shouldn't I recognize that Purvotanasana is no longer painful and out of whack? Shouldn't I be happy that I can jump straight into Tirianga Mukha Pada and Janu Sirsa B? I should be happy that I can JUST about lotus my left leg without my hands (after getting my right leg lotused up - I can't seem to slide it high enough into my hip crease without using my hands)? There is so much to feel good about my practice.

I feel sometimes as if I am letting myself get sucked onto some sort of Ashtanga Dark Side when I piss and moan about these postures, which by anyone's standards (except perhaps an Ashtangi) are quite complicated and advanced. It is a miracle that I can complete roughly 50 chatturangas in a practice and not be collapsing on the floor. It is a miracle that I can even DO Mari C and D, however badly. I need to pull back from the Dark Side (I believe it is called Egoville) before it really sucks me in and spits me back into a vinyasa class, or worse....Bikram.

Oh yeah, the cleanse, almost forgot. Five cups of Green Power so far, and I am feeling full and full of energy. Not only did I practice but I did 2 1/2 hours of dog walking (I am Toni Collette in In Her Shoes!) and walked my own dog for 45 minutes. And I feel great. I think I might have some butternut squash at dinnertime, maybe, possibly. Or maybe I will just keep drinking this stuff. But my instincts tell me to go with the squash and possibly some protein powder in the Green Power.

I would like to try a homemade cleanse -with juices that I press myself. But for now, as I experiment with my first cleanse, it feels less daunting to use the premade stuff.

YC