Another home practice

I just couldn't motivate to drive downtown today. Or rather, to put a, more positive spin on it: I preferred to self-practice in the privacy of my own home today. Instead of beating myself up for not getting to Shala X and labeling it a "lack of motivation", I think it is better for me to think of it as what it really is: a desire to just do it myself.

I go through these phases sometimes...times when I don't really need any adjustments to make my practice feel right. Sure, it might be good for me to be given my wrist to grab in Mari D. But I think there is great value in getting into Mari D all by myself and owning the pose as it is, in its current form, unenhanced by an adjustment. I tend to get like this when I feel ready to learn a new posture, but Sir hasn't given me one yet. I start to want to just do my practice on my own because going to the Shala becomes all about, "Will he or won't he? Will I get the next posture or not?" I know myself, I know my desire for approval. And to go there and hope for that nod of approval in the form of, say, "Take Kurmasana", well, it just feeds into something within myself that undermines my yoga.

Of course, T is there today, not Sir, and these particular issues don't come into play. However, I think to myself, well, if I KNOW that I am not going to get a new posture, and I know I am not going to get adjusted (T gives me very few adjustments), then why waste the gas? Why waste the half hour of driving time? Why not just do my practice, by myself, just me, my body and my mat? Why not take the opportunity to practice naked while I'm at it?

So, there you have it.

Guruji arrives this weekend in NYC. I will be there on Sunday at 6, the first class on the NYC leg of the tour, and I am so psyched to hear him counting and to feel the practice timed as Guruji intends it. I am also hoping to meet some of my fellow bloggers and to feel the energy of the Ashtanga Sangha.

It was last year right around the time of the world tour that I started making my plans to become a Mysore-style student. I am almost no further in the Primary Series than I was then (give or take about a million adjustments and modifications!), but my practice is completely different now, and soooo much better.

Oh, and for anyone who might be interested, this is Open House weekend at Ashtanga Yoga Shala in NYC, 8th Street and Avenue B. There are free beginner classes and 12:45 p.m. led classes on both Saturday and Sunday. There's some other stuff going on, like a movie screening. So, if you are interested, check out the website.

In any event, see ya'all on Sunday!!!

YC