Monday, March 27, 2006

A frightening thought occured to me

And it was this: If I were someone who had to work for a living, there is no way that I could be practicing Ashtanga.

The thought slowly seeped into my mind as I dragged myself around the apartment yesterday, alternately dropping things and bumping into furniture and generally acting like a big bitch. At some point, the Husband suggested that perhaps I should not go to "any more of these 6 a.m. classes because...well, look at you! You're a wreck!" That's when the there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I thought began to gel: I could never get up this early every day and still function as a mother, a wife, a friend or simply someone who doesn't drop dishes on the floor for no apparent reason and walk into walls because she didn't see it there.

Ah, but because of my schedule, I smiled, I am lucky enought to not have to get up at the crack of friggin dawn to practice Ashtanga. I can wake up at 7:30 a.m., around the time many of my fellow Ashtangis are already in Savasana, and mosey on down to practice at 9:15 or so. And then I still have several hours to rest and recover before the second half of my day begins: the half where I walk my kids to and from their afternoon sports and chess and playdates and make them dinner and help them with their homework (which these days is WAY more interactive than the homework of the days of yore)..

And then the chilling thought: If I had to work, let's say, in an office, where you're expected to be at your desk at say, the reasonable hour of 9 a.m., I would have to practice at the crack of dawn. Rather than sleeping, I would be saluting the sun before the sun comes up. And then I would be non-functional for the rest of the day. Oh, sure, perhaps I could work at my desk, putting my head down between tasks, or climbing under my desk and napping as I did when I was pregnant (yeah, no, I'm not kidding about that). But what about when I came home? Could I function as a parent? Could I make actual food for my family? Could I actually get Adam to do his writing homework without exploding into a fit of absolute bitchdom?

I realize that chemo has long-term effects and that part of my inability to wake up early and then function later may be at least partly blamed on these long-term effects. But everyone has their stuff. So, I have to hand it to all of you out there who get up early and do this physically demanding practice and then manage to stay awake all day and do what you have to do and do it without breaking a lightbulb in your bare hands or accumulating a body full of klutz-bruises or making your kids cry.

(I rub my eyes and crack my neck now for effect.)

I must rest now.



rew said...

personally, i think there's a mischevious elf running around NYC moving walls and doorframes an inch or 2 in either direction when i'm not looking. that's the only explanation i can come up with for why i ALWAYS run into my apartment and office walls.
perhaps that elf visited you recently as well...

yoga chickie said...

How was it today? Was it as packed as yesterday? I am soooo sore today. Not used to going through the series as quickly...or going through the entire series for that matter...


Karen said...

You know, it really gets easier the more you do it (practicing early), and when you have a family, you find a way to make it all work. In some ways, having to work and having a family and having a practice is actually quite simple: you do the things you need to do when you need to do them. And there's no room for thinking about it. So it's kind of handy! :-)

mari said...

I was reading your blog and I enjoy my self to much being here!
all the best,

Ash said...

Being able to work from home 85% of the time helps for me. I go into the office a couple time a week and that's when I need to get up at 4:00 to practice so I can be at my desk across Toronto by 8:00. I'd love to be at a client site downtown - then I could justify practicing at one of the city shalas

You'd manage it Lauren. You just do it. You prioritize and become efficient. You start using a crock pot. The useless stuff falls away (e.g. there is no TV, nor pointless surfing). And you do whatever you can - even if that's sometimes only Surya As and Bs.

yoga chickie said...

Prioritizing? Non-thinking? Sometimes only A's and B's? You guys are GOOD.

I am still a work in progress...bigtime.


Anonymous said...

You managed cancer and being a mom and wife - you could certainly manage a practice with a job. No doubt. At first, I thought there was NO WAY I could wake up and be at practice at 6:30 - NO WAY...then, eventually, it became easier (going to bed at 9 helps...) but even now I think - if I had to commute from Brooklyn or if I had kids, or if I.. whatever else life threw at me, I couldn't do it. I imagine I could though - eventually.

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About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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