Yoga Chickie in Exile

So, today when I arrived at Shala X, I was met at the front door by several students, all wearing masks to hide their identity. One by one, they told me all of the problems they have with me.

Said the first: "Your eyes dart around while you practice, and I can only surmise that you are observing the practices of your fellow students, judging us, judging me."

"But how would you know that," I asked, "if you weren't looking at ME? At my EYES, no less? How would you know what I am thinking anyway? How could you possibly be focused on your own practice if you're busying yourself with observing my eyes and imagining what my mind is thinking?"

Said the second: "Not only that, but sometimes when you're in the front of the room, you literally turn your HEAD to look at us. Last time, I saw you turn your head and take a good long look at...me."

"But you were practicing under the clock!" I explained, bringing to my mind that 80's classic, "About Last Night". "I sometimes turn around to see the clock to see how much time I have left before Sir leaves the room, and I'm fairly nearsighted, so I have to squint and really concentrate to see the hands of the clock."

Said the third: "You were talking about me on your blog. You said that my practice is "kind of sloppy." I resent that, Yoga Chickie."

"But I've never seen you before in my LIFE!" I exclaimed. And it was true. "I have no idea whose practice I thought was sloppy. I saw a body practicing yoga. I made no connection to who it was. I was busy practicing my own yoga."

This third one, though, she was relentless: "I saw you staring at me as I was rolling around in Garba Pindasana, and I saw your disgust because I didn't end up facing front at the end of 9 turns, and then I saw how you put yourself EXTRA precisely into Janusirsasana A, as if you were sending me a message of how yoga is supposed to be practiced, but it seemed to me that all you were doing was muscling into the pose, pulling your spine straight over your straight leg."

Oooookay.

No, none of this really happened. But take away the "anonymous posting" feature on this blog, and the above scene is what my day would have shaped up to be yesterday. Today in practice, I made a serious effort to keep my blinders on. I have no idea who was practicing Primary, Second or Third, even on the mats next to me. I have no idea who even adusted me in Prasarita Pado C or Mari A (NICE work on Mari A, whoever you are). I was in the zooone.

YC