Thursday, September 14, 2006

When you make a wish, what do you wish for?

I always wish for happiness, because it covers just about everything - health, prosperity, love, peace, etc.

What I really really really specifically wish for right now is to just be happy where I am at - in life, and specifically in my yoga practice. I want to be IN it. Not looking to the next thing. I want that so much....



Patti said...

I read your blog nearly every day, and while I understand and identify with your obsessions with a certain asana, wanting that feeling of really being IN it, the desire to reach a goal, the quest for more and more, always more, I also find I am very conflicted sometimes because I also know that this is not what yoga is supposed to be about. I know that you know this too, and I know that you also struggle, hence today's entry about just wanting to be happy in your practice. You can be there Lauren. I love the Ashtanga practice, but sometimes it seems to breed this attitude of needing to be further, deeper, better. Yoga is not about any of those things unless you are speaking of the ability to look within, and even then setting a goal and feeling frustration at not achieving your "goal" is not a positive thing. Maybe it is because I am older than you, maybe because I live and practice in a much less competitive environment...there are so many possibilities but I am learning every day that it is okay to be where I am. Some days just showing up to practice is my greatest act. Some days just making it through my day, caring for my family and crawling into bed is enough.
Your practice is astounding, beautiful and perfect . I know this even without knowing you, without seeing you practice. As long as you breathe and quiet your mind, you are there. All else is just icing. Stop wanting more, and more will come. Stop striving and working so hard and thinking about it so much and it will come. The harder you try, the more elusive it becomes. Focus on that which never changes...the true Self. Everything else is only temporary, unreal, changing. Binding in Supta K will not make you happy (well, maybe for a short time) and getting a new nose will not make you happy, and losing weight will not make you happy. It all comes from within you and the potential is there every day, every minute. I know this is true, and I wish I could say I live it, but all I can say is I make it my intention and sometimes, for a brief shining moment I can glimpse the possibilities. I send you all the best energy in whatever you do, and will keep reading even when I think you are veering dangerously down a definitely un-yoga like path because it is all about the journey, and I love reading about yours. Damn, I wish I could quit you!

yoga chickie said...

Wow...what an incredible comment. THANK YOU!!!!!!

Keep on practicing, as will I....and by practicing, I don't mean bending, twisting and binding...I mean living the life, walking the walk. It's the biggest challenge I have, bigger than Supta K. Supta K is just the treadmill on which I practice my running...

smd said...

I wish you well in this new goal - of letting go of the goals!

But please, you must keep writing about other things - I can't quit you either!

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About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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