Sunday, August 03, 2008

Who's uncomfortable?

If we were at a party, and you looked down my dress and saw the scars on my chest, would you be uncomfortable? Would you think less of me?

I'd really like to know. Honestly.



A Bhakti Yogi said...

OMG! Not at all - to either question! Honestly I'd maybe be compassionately curious and leave it at that.

Yogamum said...

Nope, not at all. I honestly don't think I'd think twice about it.

Anonymous said...

No. Why do you ask?

BeBe said...

I'd think: She had surgery -
probably BC. She's a survivor. She looks great. Good for her.

DebPC said...

I am too short to look down your dress. Ha ha.

But seriously...
it would not make ME uncomfortable and if I were curious I would ask what the scars were from.

But yes, I do think it would make some people uncomfortable. Kind of like (and I'm going to be extreme here) when someone has a gimpy leg or no arm. And you want to ask whether they were born without an arm or whether they lost it in an accident or through illness and you kind of want to stare but you know you shouldn't but you do anyway and then feel even more uncomfortable and need to walk away and not talk to or look at that person at all.

BeBe said...


I think the examples you use are inapt. One would assume that YC's "friend" with the scar looked quite fab in what she was wearing. A scar as describe is not a handicap as your examples describe. It is an imperfection in a world where we are all imperfect.

Your cous,


Wayne said...

I would only hope that you were okay.

neene said...

Hey..are you okay? i hope something didn't happen today. When I notice scars, I think,"Wow, that person has been through a lot."

DebPC said...

YC and Bebe-- I still stand by what I said. Mothers are entitled to be biased and want to protect their own (I would and do).

I am not trying to be harsh, and I hope it is not taken that way. I am trying to answer honestly. And honestly, I do not think everyone would just say wow, she's been through a lot. Is comparison to the scars of a burn victim more apt? If I looked down someones shirt and saw a burn scar I would, as neene said, be amazed at their life experience. But some might feel otherwise.

susiegb said...

I think what I'd be would be 'interested'. I'd realise she had probably had surgery, likely for BC. And yes, it'd make me think differently about her - meaning that it would give me more information about this person. I'd wonder how she was going, knowing that she's probably been through some pretty nasty treatment (like I have).

Probably because I'm a cancer survivor (see YC, I'm actually saying that about me now!!) I'd feel a connection and warm to her.

So yes, it would make me feel differently about her, but not at all uncomfortable. Interested!!

lgr said...

On the lighter side, if I saw you at a party and looked down your dress, you should slap me in the face!

saint said...
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inandoutofthegardenhegoes said...
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Carl said...

If your scars were that obvious then seeing them might cause the backs of my knees to tingle.

boodiba said...

I'd just be curious. Scars are interesting to me, both physical and psychic.

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I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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