Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Guest blogger: Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

My dear friends,

Some of you were unable to attend my speech at Columbia University yesterday, so i have taken the liberty of hacking YC's blogger account to reprint a transcript of the highlights my act, er, no, my speech! Yes, my speech, i mean, my speech. Enjoy, retards! Er, I meanm enjoy, my friends! Yes, that's right, I mean, friends.

"Even though I was deeply hurt at being asked to speak at Columbia University only after it turned out that Osama Bin Laden had a conflicting engagement, and even though I was for reasons unbeknownst to me, excluded, nay, banned from visiting what you people call ground zero, or as I like to call it, A Good Start, I still will try to make my fans on the Upper West Side feel as if they got what they paid for.

Cough, americans, cough, retards, cough cough.

Allergies. So, where was I? Ah, yes, here is a, what you say, joke, to get things started on a light note: What do you call a homo in Iran? You don't! Because we don't have any! Not even one!!! Bad dum dum.

Which reminds me, what's the deal with that thing you people refer to as the holocaust? It's not like there's any proof that the Nazi's slaughtered six million Jews, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Until someone can show me some proof, why not call it the "hypotheticaust"? Theory, people! Not fact! Am i right? Am i right or what, retards? I mean, people. Er, yes, people, my friends, my delightful american friends who believe in freedom of speech, cough, retards, cough, on the Upper Jew Side of Manhattan! Sheee-ite!!! Did i say that? Oh no I di-int!!"

Thank you, thank you very much.



samasthiti said...

Ahmadinejad ,
You are a jack ass. You should let YC have her blog back now before I come over there and kick your ass.

cranky housefrau said...

good on ya YC. no homos? how does he know? did he ask if he could ass-fuck all the men in Iran and they all said no thanks?

boodiba said...

Cranky you are too funny.

Carl said...

I was almost convinced it was written by Ahmadinejad until I remembered he generally uses the colloquial concatenations "Imperialist-tard" or "Infidel-tard." I don't recall seeing a single instance of the word "retard" in any of the transcripts of his many, many speeches.

Anonymous said...

I don't know. Beebee will probably give me another chalk mark in the anti-semite column, but I think the columbia prez was pretty fucking ungraceful with his introduction. what kind of intelligent 'debate' or 'enquiry' is that? wanker.

retard is a great word.

samasthiti said...

I agree. I mean, do you invite people over to your house and then call them retards? Or petty dictators? I mean I think some of my friends might be considered petty dictators by others but I don't introduce them as my "petty dictator friend" Bob. I mean it's bad manners. If you want to do it the right way, you call it a roast and everyone gets to throw in their own funny stories......

Anonymous said...

it was really bad manners. and i can't believe no one said anything. fuckers.

YC said...

Help! I am stuck in Iran, and I can't get any Diet Peach Snapple! Can't. Make. It. Must. Have. Snapple....

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About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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