Monday, November 19, 2007

Every chair does not have to face the TV.

I just needed to say that.

You know who you are, you who needed to hear it.



These days, by which I mean, since last Monday, each day, I wake up knowing that it will be a struggle between me and me to make myself practice. Some days, I get up, get dressed for practice, and then, after some internal debate decide that I don't feel like driving to the shala after all. On those days, at some point, if I am very persuasive, I am able o force myself to practice at home. I do hope this mood passes soon. Perhaps it will pass when my body is less sore from the backbending work I'm doing. But this is really when I know that I am engaging in a discipline. I tell myself that I have to practice, even if it sucks, even if I hate it, because it's just practice. I tell myself that even if it sucks, tomorrow might not suck, and there's always tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, to paraphrase William Faulkner.


Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly to those who have struggled with motivation issues while delving into Second Series, even as my motivation crumbles, my backbends are improving. I mean SERIOUSLY improving. Or at least it seemed that way today. Banner day today, really. Today, two things happened that rocked my backbendng world.

Thing One was that I discovered the internal rotation of my arms in Urdhva Dhanurasana. I know, it's like, duh, hello, that's what you're supposed to be doing. But the thing is, I have never been able to connect with any sort of internal arm rotation while pressing up into UD, unless I have a belt strapped around my triceps. But today, as I pressed up, I pretended the belt was there, and I felt my chest lifting higher, and my wrists not crying out in pain. Muscles engaged. Locked and loaded.

Now, to feel my legs. You can no more force yourself to feel your legs when you can't feel your legs than you can force yourself to relax by saying, "Just relax." But I know that someday I will feel my legs. I think. I told myself today that I am going to give it at least five years before I get frustrated. Hmmm.....wonder if I can stick to that.

Thing Two was that in assisted dropbacks, Val did not really drop me back or lift me up at all. She merely put her hands on my hipbones and pressed my feet into the floor. It was the WILDEST sensation. Apparently, I need to wear cement shoes in order to drop back and stand up. Or, um....feel my legs maybe?

Maybe I will actully wake up wanting to go to practice, just to get that sensation again of having my feet firmly planted on the ground and using them as an anchor to float back and stand up. Maybe.

Other practices:

That would be choir practice. Yes, I have joined the choir at my place of worship. I'd been thinking about going to kirtan, and then I realized that if I can sing in a community, then I really should sing with the Jews. Because I actuallyam a Jew. Whereas, I am not Hindu or Indian. Shit, I mean, if I chant the invocation on a daily basis, shouldn't I be able to sing Mi Chamocha once in a while?

I (secretly) refer to the choir as the Mommy Minion, since all of the members of the choir, pretty much, are moms. It's not like the temple(s) we belonged to in the city, where there was such a wide age range within the congregation. Much of our congregation is under the age of 60, and in fact, much of the congregation is actually under the age of 20. Like my kids, for instance. And everyone else's sets of two, three and four kids.

Isn't it ironic, dontcha think, that my first choir performance is for tomorrow night's Ecumenical Service with the Armonk Methodist Church? We're singing with their choir. They are not a Mommy Minion. They're kind of oldish and blue-hairish. But they have lovely soprano voices. My voice, which I have neglected for the past15 or so years, has dropped to a high alto. That's fine. I don't mind singing the harmony line.

I think my batteries are about to go, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. I'm on my laptop in bed. And it's time to turn out the light.




DebPC said...

I don't think you can be full-on with everything all the time. You just moved, you have lots going on. It's probably time to take a little break from yoga. I don't say this because I'm jealous and trying to hold you back or anything. I notice that whenever I get really intense about things, like running a marathon, I get kind of sick of it and don't feel like having a goal for a while after the marathon is over. Doesn't mean I stop running or doing yoga or whatever, I just need to back off the intensity because I'm not feeling it for the time being. And that's okay. Yoga is about balance, not obsession. Right?

Anonymous said...

who you talkin to? me? snoozin? carl? (yoga's about obsession...)

DebPC said...

Yoga is about balance. Yoga means union. Remember this, ashtangi people. I really can't speak for what Patanjali or sri patabi jois would say, but I would like to believe that they would agree that when your life becomes out of balance, and your yoga practice is the key to that imbalance, it is okay to let it go for a little while. Because obsession is an embodiment of our western love of achievement. Of competition. Of getting to second series, or whatever the fuck pose YC is talking about this week or whatever pose you are obsessing about this week. And that is not what yoga is about. So mabye I a talking to you. But that is for you to decide.

Yoga Chickie said...

Silly me, i thought deb was talking to me, since this is my blog. Laksmi, why would she be talking to you suuuuzin or kxarl?

Yoga Chickie said...

Silly me, i thought deb was talking to me, since this is my blog. Laksmi, why would she be talking to you suuuuzin or kxarl?

lgr said...

Oh, wow, I thought Deb was talking to ME!

DebPC said...

I was talking to YC. But if the shoe fits...
And by the way, I'm also talking to myself.

Anonymous said...

Alright, everbody straighten your panties. When I said 'who you talkin to?', I was TALKIN TO YC BECAUSE IT IS, AFTER ALL, HER BLOG. I was referring to the chairs facing the tv comment she made at the beginning fo the post.

Anonymous said...

that's 'of' the post...

cranky housefrau said...

it can't be you Lax, because you would not advocate the tv at all, right?

Carl said...

Okay, a practical reason for turning all the chairs to face the TV is that sometimes you may not want to have to talk with the person that you might face instead of the the TV. TVs take care of conversational voids like nobody's business.

And aren't those arms supposed to be rotating outward? Sometimes my clavicles and shoulder joints feel tidier if I turn my hands toward each other. Probably just like what you're talking about. But there's more up-down freedom gained by turning them outward. Inwardly-turning your arms creates more resistance against the drive of your legs, does it not?

Yoga Chickie said...

I don't know Cxarl, you'd have to try putting the belt around your triceps to understand what I am talking about. Try it and let me know. Lauren

Yoga Chickie said...

Haha. Laxmi seems to be the only sane one here at this auspicious moment. I was talking to my husband, Laxmi.

Deb, balance would be good. Working on it. Obsessively!

Anonymous said...

carl, raise your arms up in the air right now. Palms face inward. External rotation. Carl is absolutely right.

And Cranky is also right, and I have left a NUMBER of KILL YOUR TELEVISION comments on various yc decorating posts.

I still say the TV, if you must have one, is too high. put that tv and your man in the garage.

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About Me

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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