Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Backbending roadkill

Today in Supta Kurmasana, I got tied up like a teeny little present wrapped in a teeny little ribbon.

Yesterday, Mark asked me when I am going to stop lifting the heels of my hands when I jump through.

I told him, "When my arms grow longer."

"But that's never going to happen."

I smiled. Hmmmm.

Nevertheless, now I feel self-conscious whenever I jump through, and I just can't seem, no matter what I do, no matter what I tell myself, to glue the heels of my hands to my mat. Sir said to me not long before he left for India, "We're going to need some velcro for your hands."

In my desperation, I actually bought some velcro today. I have no use for velcor whatsoever in my day-to-day life. Yet, I found myself compelled to buy it when I saw it in the sewing supplies section of CVS. So, now I'm thinking about bringing it into the shala tomorrow for a laugh, since, well, since I've become such an asana comedian lately. That's what happens when you try standing up from a backbend when you're all stira and no sukha. I've got the strength, but I'm sorry, my backbends simply don't look like backward forward bends. They're shaped more like the top of Cartman's head (see Figure 1, below).

Figure 1:

Yeah, it's kind of ugly, the whole long, flat back thing. But since I am strong, I can hurl myself up now (thanks, Laksmi, and hey, I am not looking a gift squirrel in the mouth - I realize that you can't be that specific when doing voodoo from 3,000 miles away; it's just that it would be nice if my backbending could improve while I am learning to stand up from a backbend, you know?). Of course, I end up either falling onto one or both knees, or in the best case scenarios, on both feet, but with knees bent, hips back and head hurtling forward ahead of the rest of my body.

"At least you stood up," Mark noted, as I recovered from having flung myself forward.

"Yeah, like a MONKEY," I replied.

This got laughs from those who were lucky enough to get assisted in backbending today. Now, that's a good story. Mark came over to assist me in backbends after I did four from the floor and three drop-backs with monkey-stand-ups. But halfway through the first assisted drop-back, he said, you know, just keep doing what you were doing. It seems to be working.

I didn't think he could be serious. And just as I was about to drop back again, I realized...he was GONE!

Maybe I have to get there earlier tomorrow? I am sure it can't be body odor. I really have none. Armpits and jacksie (thanks again, Laksmi) are perfectly delightful, thank you very much. And if I get any anonymous comments that claim otherwise, I will delete them anyway.

Now, I am off to .... I don't know. I'll think of something.



Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

i have advice for you on MY BLOG

YC said...

You are TOOOOOO funny. No seriously. TOO.

Clare said...

When I did a workshop on Jumping through with David Swenson he had us work in groups of three, one jumping, the other two holding your hands flat on the floor. It demonstrates how difficult it is to get through without lifting (just one hand for me). My tip is to try jumping higher, then you have more time and space to get your legs through (No video footage available!).

Asaf said...

Guta explained to me, that if I take a class with her and I don’t make an effort to lift when I jump back (harder when you are 200 lbs) she will kick me out of class. Not sure she was serious but I was terrified so I lifted again and again and again, still not jumping back that way I wish I could, but it’s much closer. It is because of the effort, not the technique. Sounds to me that you are making an effort, it will come.

boodiba said...

Guta is scary...

kevin1964.brackley said...

Ah so its not just me who lifts the hands when jumping through, Dena picked me up on it at the workshop in London the other weekend, she also said I favour one hand by putting much more weight into it.

Carl said...

Jump through with the blocks. If you're lifting your hands so you can slip through, you're probably fudging through on your way back too. Get some blocks and save yourself some frustration.

GlamSpirit said...

I'm enjoying your sense of humor. After all, if we can't laugh and play then what's it all for anyway?

Anonymous said...

blocks are for pussies

Copyright 2005-2007 Lauren Cahn, all rights reserved. Photos appearing on this blog may be subject to third party copyright ownership. You are free to link to this blog and portions hereof, but the use of any direct content requires the prior written consent of the author.

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.


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