Saturday, February 10, 2007

The cynic's guide to social niceties

"No offense, but...."

Translation: "In about one second, I am going to totally, intentionally offend you."
"None taken."

Translation: "Offense TOTALLY taken."
"Hey, how are you?"

Translation: "Just say fine, just say fine, just say fine...."
"I'm fine, thanks."

Translation: "No worries, personal details will not be shared at this time."

"No worries."

Translation: "You suck."
"Why are you getting so defensive?"

Translation: "I derive pleasure out of fucking with you."
"With all due respect..."

Translation: "With absolute disdain..."
Feel free to add on.

YC .

5 comments:

BeBe said...

"Excuse me" -- means, I'm getting in line ahead of you with no excuse.

"Sorry" -- means, not at all sorry.

"Have a good day" -- may mean, have a terrible day (depending upon he circumstances.

samasthiti said...

That's nice= Fuck you.

"YC" said...

bebe - remember this? "M'kay" means "I'll seat your family in about an hour."

CJ said...

"I don't mean to annoy you but..." = This is going to piss you off but I'm going to say it anyway.

I say "you're welcome" when I do something nice for someone like let them through or hold a door open for them and they don't say thanks.

Terese said...

"In all due respect"

with absolutely no respect......

"Uddiyanda banda"

Your stomach is sticking out.....

"I'm fascinated by Paris Hilton"

I love gossip--

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Northern Westchester, New York, United States
I live by a duck pond. I used to live by the East River. I don't work. I used to work a lot. Now, not so much. I used to teach a lot of yoga. Now not so much. I still practice a lot of yoga though. A LOT. I love my kids, being outdoors, taking photos, reading magazines, writing and stirring the pot. Enjoy responsibly.

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