Nothing to say at all

And I'm bothered by it. This past week, I've been consumed by the Fundamental Teaching Techniques with Lori and with my new twice a week teaching gig at Practice Yoga as well as with getting a lot of chores done that involved serious phone time (calling the Insurance Company to sort through the dentist and orthodontist stuff for the kids, for one thing; calling BlueFly.com to figure out what I bought and what I returned in the past two months). Just learning to pronounce the Invocation to Patanjali has been sucking up a lot of my energy. And here I was thinking that I was really pretty damn good at it. But all those long vowels and the sch's versus the sh's versus the ch's versus the s's...oh, boy. Today I took out Brian's recorder and tried to compose some version of the chant on it that would help me remember which vowels are long and which are not, using different notes to represent the long ones (there is no prescribed tune to the chant, although we all know that our respective shalas have their own versions that most of us use in our own practices). It was rather ugly, I have to say. No wonder I have never tried my hand at composing. But it did kind of do the trick in terms of acting as a mnemonic device.

The training has gotten me a bit fixated on some issues I have in twisting, which seem to come out in Parvritta Parsvakonasana, but don't seem to be causing me problems in Mari C or D. My upper back just doesn't want to participate in any twisting. In a precarious, unsupported pose like Parvritta Parsvakona, the issue becomes obvious as my hip swings out to compensate for the lack of twist in the upper back. In the seated twists - Mari C and D - I can work around the issue because I'm thin enough to get really really small and tightly wound so that my arms don't have to reach around that much "mass" that I would need to let the twist go all the way up into my Thoracic Spine. And my shoulders are fairly flexible, give or take a little chest opening that still needs to happen.

But this issue has me a bit obsessed at the moment since this teacher training has converted me to the importance of the Fundamental Asanas. I am wondering if I need to do some R&D binding twists to help enourage the Thoracic Spine to join the party.

Speaking of thin enough. I forget if I mentioned this before, but I lost a few pounds since January, mainly due to the fact that I have been practicing regularly again after not practicing for a couple of months while recovering from surgery. But, and I hate hate hate to say this, it has made a huge difference in Supta Kurmasana. And now the truth comes out: there is some discussion amongst some people who are in a position to know, that thigh girth is a factor in Supta Kurmasana, all other things being equal. That's not to say that you have to be teeny tiny to bind in Supta K...it's just that if you're binding around thighs that have some weight on them, then you have to be extra soft and flexible in order to do so. I am not extra soft and flexible. It's not my thang. Right now, I am in a place with Supta K where I can reliably bind the hands, although not necessarily hold the bind for long once the ankles cross. But the pressure! If I gain a pound or two, it will all go away. And the shame! It will become obvious that I have been stuffing my face.

No, none of this sounds particularly yogic. And it's ironic, because it's at a time when I've taken a regular teaching job and have taken on some additional teacher training. And let me tell you, there are folks out there who really really like to criticize me for it. I have some unpublished comments from these folks - they didn't like the commentary on the Westchester Vagina Debacle. They don't like the ass photo. Oh, the comments I have gotten on that one! And the rebel in me keeps the photo up because I liked it until people started criticizing it, so why should I take it down just because some people don't like it? Anonymous people, I might add. And same with the Vagina entry, no pun intended (see? I am just begging to be criticized here). I liked it a lot until someone wrote to me telling me that it's an outrage that I could be a yoga teacher and a mother and be writing stuff like that. Now, I wonder. And I don't want to judge myself based on what others think. Even if they're right. I want to come to my conclusions about myself and what I do based on my own judgement. Not someone else's.

Hence, I find myself a bit stymied and writer's blocked. You wouldn't know it from the sheer volume of words pouring forth tonight. But trust me when I tell you, I have nothing to say at all.

YC