Cold rush of blood to the head

I stooped low today. I emailed my doctor to beg him to let me take some Advil. He said, basically, "Well, okay, but then you'll have to keep your JP Drains in longer."

Okay, so even I'm not THAT crazy. There's nothing more disgusting than a pair of JP Drains hanging off your body. And I tend to need them longer than most people - probably because of my extensive use of Advil or my tendency to bruise easily, which may or may not be caused by my extensive use of Advil. So, to have to keep them in even LONGER? No.

I followed that defeat with a really majorly sucky practice. And by sucky, I mean really, really weak. I was actually able to easily get into nearly every posture, except one (guess which). But my vinyasas were pathetic. And I never really felt good during my practice. I felt winded. I felt fatiqued. It occurred to me that perhaps I might have a virus. Both the Husband and I have been under the weather ever since returning from Mont Tremblant - his doctor tested him for Lyme's disease as well, after an episode of severe vertigo. My theory is that we both contracted some kind of inner ear infection while we were away, and although my Zpack helped to keep it from developing into a raging bacterial infection, the virus that started the whole thing was still there.

After my practice, I was ruminating about how my yoga has gone so incredibly downhill in the past couple of weeks...was it getting off the advil sauce?...or was it a low-grade infection of some sort?...or was it depression, induced by my impending surgery, which I have been swearing will be the last plastic surgery I ever have on my breasts because if this doesn't work, then what will?....or perhaps it was depression induced by the dwindling daylight, easily remediable by a little tweak in my daily cocktail? It didn't help that I had been reading Elizabeth Wurtzel's Prozac Nation.

The Husband, who cannot always be counted on for his sensitivity, was suddenly incredibly insightful. He said, "Since when does your practice have to be good? I thought it just has to BE?"

Hmmmm......he did have a point. I started to feel like a real baby. Whine whine, wah wah. Enough already.

Within an hour, I had a renewed burst of energy, and my body no longer felt crippled. I think that I will actually look forward to practicing tomorrow. But of course that remains to be seen.

One thing that I cherish right now though: I feel an incredible sense of peace.

YC